Based on the current trend on the family of Filipino Overseas Workers (OFW), the popular family set-up is rapidly changing. The image of father and mother is alternatively set aside to sustain their livelihood especially for those who choose to work abroad. Is it alarming to recognize this changing family set-up, or this is now the trend of a modern family lifestyle?

This set-up is the same also with countries such as US who deploys soldiers around the world who left their family for the sake of duty and work outside their country, some families failed to see them for a period of 6 months, but some become handicapped or dead when they arrived. Those pilots who left their family for different airlines suffered the same also. Most businessmen who are frequent travelers experience the same fate of not seeing their families for 2 or 3 months due to different meetings around the world. Every society now has different reasons for working overseas that’s why alternative family set-up is becoming widespread.

(Photo Credit: Illustration of modern family set-up)

What is alternative family set-up, this is the set-up where wife plays the dual roles as mother and father or vice versa in the case of the husband during the absence of the other one for a period of month or years. If the wife is the one who left-out with their kids so she assumed the roles of a father. She takes care of monthly remittances, daily budget and physical aspect of the house plus the psychological support of their growing children including attitude and behavioral discipline. This is the same with the husband during the absence of the wife. But with the help of internet, this alleviates dynamism to the set-up of family but still missing the physical presence.

(Photo Credit: Family support in Australia with Bubbly Maxine, Alex and Jeng Icao)

Let’s focus on the Filipino Overseas Workers to assist them with this trend of alternative family set-up to provide more significance and importance to their family members who are abroad. These are the tips that will guide them on how to cope with their situations for both husband and wife:

1. Develop trust to one another, stop being erratic on you approach to your wife or husband not to create the presence of doubt. If there is a doubt already, dissect it then resolve the problem. If cannot be resolved, then part ways peacefully. Stop being a character on a tabloid magazine or a soap opera where you need to kill one another. Both of you are young who deserve to live then concentrate on your work then live peacefully.
2. Budget the monthly remittances, plan your monthly meal and expenses outside the house. Don’t be showy to others that you have different gadgets or different appliances, being simple is good enough to be appreciated.
3. Constant communication, it is not always a problem that you need to tell your partner every time you call him/her, but you can communicate by sharing the happiness, achievements and positive attributes to one another.
4. Create a harmonious relationship with your partners and kids, don’t create the image of fear to your children by depicting the other one as a monster and you are the angel. This will create division on the mind of the children where it is hard for them to open-up of their feelings and emotions.
5. Stop competing with your partners, his or her achievements should be celebrated not to be envious about. You are both different individuals with different set of talents so naturally you have strength and weakness on different areas, it just a matter on how to cultivate your weakness to make it as your powerful weapon.
6. Cultivate relationship with your immediate family, in-laws, relatives and friends. These are the people who can help you during the absence of your partner. This people will be there in times of need. Don’t fight with them as they are not your enemy. They will provide tips and reminders but collect only the useful one. There are tendencies that these family members share gossips and dramas so ignore these then stay positive.
7. Set-up limits on financial help, not everyone needs money, but they maybe need your time so provide only your time. If a family member really needs financial help, include them to your budget then discuss it with your partner so that you can include them on your monthly expenses.

These are some of the tips on how you cope with the trend of alternative family set-up. I am an OFW also who suffers the same as yours. My life is not perfect, but I am making it as meaningful as possible. I am using the different facets of my talent not to waste time but to contribute a little ripple to share my experiences to our society.

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